Lots of thoughts, lots of things on my mind...

1. Someone asked me why I chose to be a teacher and why am I back for the degree course.
I told her it was God's calling for my life. She asked why I was so sure that it was God? I recounted what happened 5 yrs ago to her and also what happened a yr ago when I decided to go on no pay leave for this course. At that point, I felt that I've lost the kind of faith that I used to have. It used to be, God spoke, I obeyed. Though with doubts, I'll still do what He says, knowing that if it's His will, He will let it come to past. Time and events had caused me to lose my faith and love for Him. I want to find back my faith and love for Him.

2. Mummy's away in JB again for the whole week...
It's only during the time that she's away that I feel that I need her to be around. It's only then that I realised how much I treasure her. I think this must be what she feels when I'm not at home. I don't mind her going for holidays, but I really don't like the idea of her going to the temple. Especially this week. I guess she must have forgotten about my birthday. Anyway, I'm the housekeeper and maid in the house this week. I can do whatever that I want because I'm alone at home! (I should thank God and rejoice!)

3. I miss my daddy!
You're the only one who treated me like a princess.
You're the only one who cared if I had enough to eat.
You're the only one who'd come down all the way from Tampines to Boonlay just to send me home.
You're the only one who loved me the most.
You're the only one who would be so generous to me.
I miss you, daddy! I love you!

4. I'm bogged down by tuition.
I feel burdened by my finances. Really feel that I'm at the mercy of money. I can't be free from tuition every Mon, Tue and Thur. I can't join my class for inter class games and I even need to apologise for not being able to make it for tuition. What to do? I'm just an "employee". I have no say and no rights. I feel defeated and I hate this kind of feelings.

5. I feel that I'm going through another low period in my life.
I've not been moving on ever since something happened. I can't seem to make up my mind about my decisions. I find it hard to love God wholeheartedly again. I want to be like Nick (the happy, handsome guy with no arms and legs). He said sometimes circumstances will not change. We have to embrace our circumstances as an opportunity to glorify God. I don't want to be melancholic Hui. I want to be the usual energetic, cheerful Hui whom people love to hang around with. I want to be happy!!!